thoughts

the drive home isn't the end

the journey is over only once I walk the threshold into my home

love is going to bed early just so you can enjoy the sound of others awake long past you

don't violate the dunes

people never stopped making zines

you did

small website communities never died

you stopped making websites

just because you stopped doesn't mean they stopped

not sure how people keep a straight face every Sunday while someone yells "Jesus wants to be inside you" at you

"they are manufacturing a scenario where" no. they are not that smart. they are convinced something that's not real is happening and acting accordingly.

stop trying to make sense of things but attributing intelligence and strategy where it is void. the rich leaders are playing house and they don't care about the fallout.

me putting Obon in my calendar every year: obob

without the internet I would not have so many opportunities to be correct about literally everything

alternative reality where we punished everyone involved in the Jan 6 events

I imagine that when a war is starting you hear several waves of military helicopters flying overhead towards the capital just like I got to experience today

I got a transplant from a serial killer and now I too enjoy murder

something clicked earlier while I was driving early evening with the sky turning grey and I felt beyond all the bs for a moment. just a few minutes.

The feeling when you forget to get a straw so you convince yourself the superior way to drink smoothies is without a straw

pride: alone at a party where 300 people understand me

I'm like if a guy was an aunt.

(I saw a tweet screen cap that said "I'm like if a girl was an uncle" and it felt not quite right for me)

let's have a manga mango party

things I've said to my cat: I HOPE YOU DIDN'T LICK MY APPLES

crying everyday not because I hate everything but because I forgot to take my meds

my lessons learned today is to never use made up words in word feud because you just might end up putting down an incredibly racist word without realizing it.

also I could use THAT but it wouldn't let me put down YEET? wow.

it happened to me: a GROWN ADULT MAN was obnoxiously watching TikTok on the train with the sound at full volume. it could happen to you.

I still constantly have ideas for ACNH and redoing my island to perfection. But every idea is a NEW idea not a new area of my previous idea so I'd have to really dedicate myself to it and ... nah.

instead of "girl code" or "bro code" let's have "matching genitals club"

blue cheese and sweet mango habanero

dying with the fire

love having allergies (dried blood all over my body)

what if we always had Fridays and Mondays off and not because we used PTO

thinking about how white people think brown people are all criminals but white history is literally filled with tales of white people robbing brown people of their livelihood or feeling entitled to their things.

we are, but

my anxiety and your anxiety

are not friends.

head empty, heart empty

it probably feels really good to be a cat and have another cat lick you with their sandpaper tongue. I bet it scratches all the itches.

papercut? no. aluminum can cut.

I got the recommended amount of steps yesterday then went to bed at 9pm and woke up dehydrated, spent all day nauseated and with a headache. #exercise!

you are not "just here," "stuck," "unmoving" just because all of your friends are getting new jobs and new homes and new boyfriends and new pets. you are not standing still just because they seem to be moving. you are also moving. you are moving differently. rest is not the opposite of movement, it is part of the process.

dissociating in the grocery store line behind someone with $400 of food to check out

enjoying my Monday snack (lots of Dr. Pepper)

I did manage to get myself out of bed (feeling the pangs of hunger) after daydreaming someone liked me. I made a bagel and scraped the fantasy away with the application of cream cheese. Cream cheese is worth my full, present attention.

I am grateful to be aware that the hiccups have stopped, even though I don't remember when they did.

woke up in total silence. is it lunchtime? am I at work? did I fall asleep in front of the computer?

opened my eyes to find my phone in my lap, screen up, with my virtual meditation teacher on the floor breathing deeply.

My phone did a complete UI update. I hate it.

turned off the radio to listen to the rain drops against the windshield

today my mom left me in an alley.

it was only for 5 minutes.

I took pictures and imagined myself as a baby abandoned in the alley. after picking up the mail she got back into the car and then we drove across 3 states in 27 minutes.

this is perfect.

today I went grocery shopping and didn't meet the love of my life after a nap and when I got home it started raining.